Hey, remember that one time when I had a blog and I updated it regularly?

Yeah, me neither.

The past six weeks have been busy. Plus, my blog redesign failed tremendously and I can’t be bothered to fix it. So you get this:

Things I’ve Been Busy Doing Which May or May Not Be Decent Excuses for the Pitiful State of My Blog and My Life as a Whole

• I succeeded in finding a Pit Bull mix to borrow (that’s Moose, at the top there). I tried a variety of methods for shaving words into his coat, which ended with my writing on him with a marker, then shaving the words off. If this movie thing doesn’t work out, I now have the skills to be a really awful dog groomer.
• I perfected my imitation of my mother’s angry voice. I used it to chastise young actors who were climbing trees between takes. I made it clear that I didn’t really care about their well-being, but that if they damaged the costumes, they would feel my wrath.
• I quit drinking coffee on three separate occasions. I have had four cups of coffee today.
• I did not win the Mega Millions.
• I successfully avoided fines/arrest while shooting without a permit in multiple locations. 
• I attended my first roller derby bout at the Doll Factory. I was there to cheer on Fight Crew; they lost 67 to 207. I’m not sure I understood all the rules. But Armed Kandy is an awesome jammer.
• I appeared on a reality show. I looked awful. I was wearing one of Adam’s shirts and no make-up. I’m 99% sure no one will ever see it, but just to be safe, I’m not telling anyone what show it was. Also, the only thing real about the show was that I really do look that awful when I go in to the production office.
• I made some truly regrettable karaoke decisions. I don’t want to talk about it.
• I signed up for Pottermore. I still don’t know what it is, but I don’t feel like I have time to figure it out.
• I astounded several crew members on a commercial shoot by spelling colloquialism correctly. I then defined it correctly. Several people told me they had never heard the word before. I mourned the state of public education in our country.
• On the same commercial shoot, I convinced a celebrity that I was taking his tiny tiny dog on a walk because she didn’t like being cooped up in his trailer. In reality, one of the PA’s let her out, and nobody could catch the damned dog.
• I went to a Dodgers game. Thanks to Twitter, I was given Jackie Robinson wristbands, even though they were only supposed to be for kids 12 and under.
• I received numerous business cards, all of which I have misplaced. Don’t worry though; if I need you, I will find you.
• I decided to make a documentary. It’s happening. I may never have time to blog again.